Kind of going along with the post I reblogged about perfectionism the other day, I think maybe that’s part of the urge I—and others—get to apologize in advance to new people we meet.  ”I’m sorry if I say something dumb, I’m sorry if I mess this up, I’m sorry if sometimes I don’t know how to talk to you”.  Because you’re hyper-aware of everything that makes you, in your view, a substandard person and you want to beat them to the punch in pointing it out or noticing it or whatever.  You want people to see you putting yourself down so they know you’re aware of the bad stuff about yourself.

It’s not very healthy!  Who knows if they’d even have thought those things about you in the first place, or even now.  The harder but more productive option, which I have been trying and failing to go for, is to accept those parts of you that you want to apologize for and then work steadily to improve them through actions.  

As I say though, it’s super hard for me and as usual, I’m mostly just speculating so…  Grain of salt, etc.  Just food for thought. uvu