I once liked this guy until he said, “I really like Asian guys,” and I said, “Why?”

Then he went, “Is that bad? How can it be bad to like someone?” And I was like, “Well, dude, if you like Asian guys in particular for some reason, you should examine that. Is it a fantasy thing?”

And of course it’s a fantasy. He’d already told me that he’d “…always imagined himself with an Asian guy since high school.”

He responded, “No, I just do.”

And I hate it when folks talk about their racially-oriented sexual preferences with pointed vagueness without examining them because I’ve come to know that people don’t like to discuss the things about themselves they know are messed up - the things where their prejudices and biases show through. And that kind of blithely ignorant vagueness bothers me because there is deliberation andintentionality behind the ignorance. So I just asked.

"Wait, do you have an Asian fetish?"

And he goes,”What? Well, I think I’m offended.”

Thank you, white guy, for positing that your momentary discomfort in being confronted with your orientalist wet-dream is more profound than my desire to be viewed as a whole, complete person. How dare I assert my need to be regarded as more than just a prop in someone’s sexual or romantic fantasy.

He still doesn’t understand why I won’t just date him.