Wednesday, April 30, 2014

So if you say you love her.. Why would you even bother letting her sleep with guys? Do whatever she wants in a negative way.. You are just simply shallow. 
  You prove that you don’t even give a single fuck about her. Don’t bother, telling her how you feel, playing all bull shit around her feelings because boy please, you don’t even FUCKING CARE. I bet not once in your life, you even cared about her, but YOURSELF. It’s unfortunate to see girls having their heart breaks because of their boyfriends cheating on them or ignoring them or just simply thinking their girlfriends don’t even EXIST. 
Don’t get me wrong, but what I’m saying is truth and nothing but pure truth. We all have those days, where our idiot boyfriends are out somewhere and we can’t help but think how immature and stupid they are for flirting with another girl when they have a GIRLFRIEND. Bitch, please.
I think we need a disinfectant spray or a Bitch spray be-gone. When a guy tells his friends or someone else or even his own girl; “ I don’t care if you sleep with other guys..” THAT’S NOT LOVE AT ALL ! That’s called, being immature and dumb.. boys, you know better. Okay, some guys are just plain assholes and retards.. just saying.. but at the end of the day, who’s getting the Karma? of course, YOU in the end. 
This life is what you make it. No matter what, you’re going to mess up sometimes, it’s a universal truth. But the good part is you get to decide how you’re going to mess it up. Girls will be your friends - they’ll act like it anyway. But just remember, some come, some go. The ones that stay with you through everything - they’re your true best friends. Don’t let go of them. Also remember, sisters make the best friends in the world. As for lovers, well, they’ll come and go too. And baby, I hate to say it, most of them - actually pretty much all of them are going to break your heart, but you can’t give up because if you give up, you’ll never find your soulmate. You’ll never find that half who makes you whole and that goes for everything. Just because you fail once, doesn’t mean you’re gonna fail at everything. Keep trying, hold on, and always, always, always believe in yourself, because if you don’t, then who will, sweetie? So keep your head high, keep your chin up, and most importantly, keep smiling, because life’s a beautiful thing and there’s so much to smile about.
— Marilyn Monroe
To My Soulmate...
I just wanted to say that i love you. You make me happy beyond measure and comfort my restless mind when i need it most. There isn’t a thing in the world that could keep me from you. I hope you know how much I’m deeply in love with you. Even though your thousands of miles away I trust you with my heart.. i trust you with everything I am. 
I cant wait to see you again. I cant wait to show you how much i appreciate you and how im falling more for you everyday. Its 4 am here and i cant sleep, but all i can think about is being with you. I miss holding you and feeling so safe. I miss forgetting all the torments that life holds and just drifting off in each other’s love for one another. I miss feeling your soft beautiful lips against mine.
Whether we are just playing video games or watching an entire season of an anime together i cant help but cherish the time we spend with one another. Even if we are on the phone and dont say a single word, i am content knowing that your are on the other end of the line and that makes me feel better.
Your the kind of person that makes me want to be a better person, to strive to my utmost potential because i want to provide for you. I dont want u to ever want anything. There are times when i dont feel like going to class and i just want to sleep, and then i think of you. It reminds me of my goals and what i need to accomplish in order to see you again.
Im so lucky to have found you. There are times when we are talking on skype and i just think to myself… why would someone so beautiful choose me. Of all the people you could have been with you chose me. While i dont completely understand why, i am so happy that you did choose me. It is one of my life’s grandest joys to see you smile and know that you love me back.
Thank you for saving me even if you dont see it as that. Before i met you i stayed up thinking about scary and dark things. I didnt see why everything was happening to me when i was just trying to do good. I thought i would never find anyone that TRUELY loved me as much as i do them.
I dont know when you will see this but when you do, please know that this is a sad attempt to show you how much i care. If i sat in this chair and just typed how i felt about you till the end of my days, i still wouldnt be able to sum up how i feel about you. Your personality is just as gorgeous as your appearance. You are my dream come true. When i was with you… there were multiple times when i checked to see if i was dreaming because you are too good for me. You constantly make me blush even though im completely comfortable with you.
You make me feel like im worth some thing. :/ When im around you, you make me see the meaning in this life. Without love this life isnt worth going through all the hardships and horrible things. But i would go through them all over again in order to just have a chance with you. I know that true love will never die and i know ive found it.
I love you. You mean the world to me. / pulls you close to me and i hold your chin/neck as i gaze into your beautiful eyes and move your bangs behind your ear. Then i slowly close my eyes and kiss you as i hold you ever so tenderly

i dream about your lips on mine,
my sweet winter girl,
how you would taste
and feel
and in my dreams i run my fingers down the curve of your breasts and they settle there 
on your hips and it is intimate and loving
and i lie there for awhile, resting my head upon your stomach
and we are peaceful and in love and it is beautiful like all things are.
your fingers carding through my hair and the ups and downs of your belly
as you breathe long and slow almost put me to sleep.
but when you speak to me i do not startle
for your voice is low and private, a kind thing
just for the two of us.
you tell me of your dreams, ones you have put aside
laugh through the stories of the people you meet, and have met
the ones you love, fierce and protective you are of these ones,
the special and honored, i think, to be able to hold your love in their hands so easily, so unaware of the gift you have given them.
and then, the two you don’t quite hate
(but it’s close, that resentment, we both know)
and in return
i tell you my secrets, the coveted
my embarrassments, the many
and my flaws.
the worst, my achievements, the few things i am proud of.
these are the words i fear most,
the ones i am frightened of.
i think the best part of lying here with you,
naked as we are, together
is not the implied sexuality of our closeness - with our breasts pressed together as we kiss, my longer body keeping you safe, our combined curves a thing of beauty -
but no,
instead it is how free i am with you
how unafraid and extremely terrified i am
at the same time.
and when your leg,
as smooth
or natural as you are in that moment
knocks against mine, neither awkward nor elegant
i am aroused, quite so
but it is the way you whisper your entire being to me so unafraid of my judgement(there is none to be had), so naked in your love for me
that makes me want to crawl inside you
and never come out.

Her eyes don’t light up anymore when she hears your name. She doesn’t get chills & her heart doesn’t race when you smile at her. You don’t get to her like you used to. You’re just a bad memory in the back of her mind. So don’t be surprised next time you make your way past her & she doesn’t even glance your way. Don’t bother talking to her, you won’t get a response. She’s over fighting the same losing battle.
The saddest part is you have no one to blame but yourself. She gave you every chance you could ever ask for & you fucked up every single time.
Dear heart
I vow to take my time in love 
I vow to never again settle, or comprise 
I vow to always remember my worth 
I vow to pay attention to the warnings 
I vow to love myself fiercely 
I vow to never again be afraid that without him I’m nothing 
I vow to keep faith in God, when it seems that all is lost
Dear heart these are my Vows to you so that you may never again be vulnerable or taken for granted. So that you may never again question your worth. So that you can be cherished and protected and loved by the right one. But until he arrives I vow to love you fiercely. So that you can heal and be open and receptive of the love we deserve
i dream about your lips on mine,
my sweet winter girl,
how you would taste
and feel
and in my dreams i run my fingers down the curve of your breasts and they settle there 
on your hips and it is intimate and loving
and i lie there for awhile, resting my head upon your stomach
and we are peaceful and in love and it is beautiful like all things are.
your fingers carding through my hair and the ups and downs of your belly
as you breathe long and slow almost put me to sleep.
but when you speak to me i do not startle
for your voice is low and private, a kind thing
just for the two of us.
you tell me of your dreams, ones you have put aside
laugh through the stories of the people you meet, and have met
the ones you love, fierce and protective you are of these ones,
the special and honored, i think, to be able to hold your love in their hands so easily, so unaware of the gift you have given them.
and then, the two you don’t quite hate
(but it’s close, that resentment, we both know)
and in return
i tell you my secrets, the coveted
my embarrassments, the many
and my flaws.
the worst, my achievements, the few things i am proud of.
these are the words i fear most,
the ones i am frightened of.
i think the best part of lying here with you,
naked as we are, together
is not the implied sexuality of our closeness - with our breasts pressed together as we kiss, my longer body keeping you safe, our combined curves a thing of beauty -
but no,
instead it is how free i am with you
how unafraid and extremely terrified i am
at the same time.

and when your leg,
as smooth
or natural as you are in that moment
knocks against mine, neither awkward nor elegant
i am aroused, quite so
but it is the way you whisper your entire being to me so unafraid of my judgement(there is none to be had), so naked in your love for me
that makes me want to crawl inside you
and never come out.
With women who do not love us, as with the “dear departed,” the knowledge that there is no hope left does not prevent us from continuing to wait. We live in expectancy, constantly on the alert; the mother whose son has gone to sea on some perilous voyage of discovery sees him in imagination every moment, long after the fact of his having perished has been established, striding into the room, saved by a miracle and in the best of health. And this expectancy, according to the strength of her memory and the resistance of her bodily organs, either helps her on her journey through the years, at the end of which she will be able to endure the knowledge that her son is no more, to forget gradually and to survive his loss - or else it kills her.
Ode to a Stranger in Dublin
stranger, i like the way you walk 
as though invisible cracks
grow wherever your
feet take you.
you remind me of
someone who’s got 
a replica of your eyes.
he’s got a name of four letters.
and even less when he speaks.
he’s the kind of boy 
who’d tell you about the sun
the same day he walks
home in the pouring rain.
he’s the kind of boy
who still buys carnations
for his grandmother’s grave
thirteen years after her
he writes poetry. he
writes poetry.
he writes.
with a glint in his eyes
and a tilt to the mouth.
as subtle as mount everest’s peak.
but i’m sorry, dear stranger. 
i’ve forgotten this was
meant to be about you.
not him.
the train door opens.

Monday, April 28, 2014

Your body is a home.
You will treat it like a rental 
when you press your bones together
and your thighs apart
like they do not belong.
You will trash the place
and lose your sanity
when you concave your stomach
and plant seeds between your ribs.
Your body is a home.
Every hope and dream
will be ripped to shreds
as rivers run blue to red
this was never supposed to happen.
Everything will burn
when you despise your existence,
when your mother
cries over your decay.
Your body is a home.
You will open the doors widely
for every John, Dick, Harry, and Mike
who waltzes by with a coked-out smile
and greasy hands that slides down
your brailled spine.
He will rush in like he owns the place,
but he does, doesn’t he?
Your body is a home
and you are doing your damnedest 
to watch it fall and crumble.

Sunday, April 27, 2014

-Because I got called a whore for wearing a short plaid skirt when I was 10
-and because when Nujood Ali from Yemen was 10 she got divorced
-Because black girls’ names became my classmates’ favorite “joke” when I was 11
-and because when an 11-year-old girl in Texas was raped by 18 men the New York Times wrote of how the girl “dressed older than her age”
-Because I started counting calories when I was 14
-and because when Malala Yousafzai was 14 she was shot in the head for trying to go to school
-Because I heard a boy greet a girl with “hey slut” today at age 16
-and because when a 16-year-old girl in Steubenville, Ohio was filmed being raped by two boys at a party while unconscious the CNN reporters talked about how tragic it was because the rapists had such bright futures as athletes
-Because I will have to watch my drink at all bars and parties when I am 22
-and because when CeCe McDonald was 22 she was sentenced to 41 months in prison for defending herself against a man who screamed transphobic, racist insults at her and then slashed her face with a bottle
-Because no matter what age I am the biggest threat to men will still be heart disease, and the biggest threat to women will still be men.
-Because it is not just about me, because it is not just about anger, because it is not just a JOKE, because it is not just about “hating men,” because it is not just about girls with vaginas, because it is not just about ending “slut”, because it is not just about white straight girls in Rookie magazine, because it is not just about writing on backs, because it is not just about the fact that gay men are “fags” but lesbians are “hot,” because it is not just about pictures of thin white girls being the only google image results for the search phrase “beautiful women”, because it is not just about writing signs, because it is not just about what she was wearing or how many times she said yes before she changed her answer to no, because misogyny is not just about one thing and feminism is not just about one thing and it is not just “a trend” and it will not “happen” in just one way.
-And because yes. It is about equality for EVERYONE, but first and foremost it needs to be about equality for girls, because they are not treated equally to men, in every single sense, and you are not going to take feminism away from me and call me bossy/hostile/aggressive and make this about yourself or make it into a joke, because truth be told, I’m not joking and I’m tired of explaining. If you want to call yourself a feminist, you work hard to spread feminism, you do not turn this into a contest of whose struggle is greater and constantly demand to know what you can get out of feminism personally. Feminism is not just about you, or me, it is about everyone. If you’re male and you’re tired of men being stereotyped as hyper-masculine, soulless, sexist, inherent leader-tyrant creatures, then go out and prove the patriarchy wrong and fight for girls, like someone with a soul who believes in equality would. Then, yes, feminism will be about everyone.
A gente nunca sabe quando uma história vai se tornar inesquecível… Até que ela se torna. Não sou o homem mais bonito, nem o mais inteligente ou rico. Sou simples, sempre fui. Mas se me perguntassem o que de mais valor há no meu mundo, eu diria o nome da mulher que amo. Vou dizer uma coisa com toda a dor do mundo: Um dia todo mundo perde a fé no amor. É triste, mas é a verdade. E sabe por que isso acontece? Porque os seres humanos são ingênuos. Nós acreditamos no amor que queremos acreditar. E por um certo tempo, isso se torna algo lindo, e realmente é. O amor que uma criança sente e acredita é um dos mais bonitos e sinceros do mundo. Mas o problema está nas fantasias. Está nos filmes, nos livros. Está naquele casal extremamente lindo, que se encontrou em um deserto e se olhou pela primeira vez e pensou: “É o amor da minha vida”. Não estou dizendo que é impossível, mas acredito que o amor não está no primeiro olhar ou na primeira conversa, está na segunda, terceira, quarta… décima oitava, quem sabe? O amor aparece quando se acha que ele não vai aparecer. O amor é aquele convidado da festa que sempre se atrasa… Mas chega. A verdade é que ninguém é de ferro. Dói cair na ilusão e se levantar na fantasia. Então a gente se cansa. Então acordar sozinho se torna rotina. Então ser uma pessoa fria quando se trata de sentimentos não é mais uma opção, mas sobrevivência. E a vida já não é mais vivida, ela é apenas uma platéia que observa o tempo passar. A gente se engana com o argumento de que ser sozinho é mais fácil, mais simples. Mas no fundo? A grande real? Ser sozinho uma hora pesa. E então ver casais brigando se torna algo para ser invejado, você olha e pensa “Pelo menos vocês tem alguém para brigar”, isso é insano, mas é o efeito da solidão. Então observar a felicidade alheia se torna uma tortura. Então a gente já não sabe mais o que é felicidade, não sabe a sua cor, cheiro ou gosto. Felicidade se torna uma palavra, apenas uma palavra. E aí está uma das coisas mais tristes da vida: Se conformar com a infelicidade. Se eu pudesse dar um conselho, qualquer um, eu diria: Não se conforme, com nada. Não desista da vida ou de viver. Não desista do amor ou de amar. Não desista, não deixe de acreditar. E, se deixar, procure um motivo para acreditar novamente. Repito mais uma vez: Não sou o homem mais completo do mundo e estou longe de ser, mas amo uma mulher com todo o amor que existe em mim. E isso é uma das coisas que eu mais tenho orgulho de dizer. Por que acreditar no amor quando tudo é dor e decepção? Porque, quando menos se espera, alguém aparece. E eu não estou dizendo de um simples alguém, mas “O alguém”. E então você percebe que uma risada pode se tornar viciante. Então você sente uma sensação gostosa quando suas peles se tocam por acaso, sente um aperto no peito. E então você sente, pela primeira vez, que é possível amar alguém que vai lhe amar com a mesma intensidade do seu amor. E você descobre que a felicidade tem a cor, cheiro e gosto dessa pessoa. A felicidade já não é mais apenas uma palavra, mas um nome e sobrenome. A solidão, quando aparecer, pode ser dividida em partes iguais com alguém. Mas, então, você percebe que não há como existir solidão quando o resultado de um mais um é igual à dois. Ou seria três? A gente nunca sabe quando o amor pode dar frutos… Até que seja preciso colher. E sabe o que você vai ter que pensar quando isso acontecer? "Quanto será que custa um berço?".
Io penso che le persone non si dimenticano. Non puoi dimenticare chi un giorno ti faceva sorridere, chi ti faceva battere il cuore, chi ti faceva piangere per ore intere.
Le persone non si dimenticano. Cambia il modo in cui noi le vediamo, cambia il posto che occupano nel cuore, il posto che occupano nella nostra vita. Ci sono persone che hanno tirato fuori il meglio di me, eppure adesso tra noi, c’è solamente un semplice “ciao”. Ci sono persone che hanno preso il mio cuore e lo hanno ridotto in mille pezzi, senza nemmeno pensarci due volte. Ci sono persone che sono entrate nella mia vita in punta di piedi…e ne sono uscite esattamente nello stesso modo. Ci sono persone che hanno creato un gran casino, che hanno sconvolto i miei piani, che hanno confuso le mie idee. Ci sono persone che nonostante tutto, sono ancora parte della mia vita. Ci sono persone che sono arrivate e non sono più andate via. Ci sono persone che, anche se io non le ho mai sentite, ci sono sempre state. E poi…ci sono persone che non fanno ancora parte della mia vita, ma che tra qualche anno forse, saranno le persone più importanti per me. Ci sono persone che: nonostante mi abbiano fatto versare lacrime, mi abbiano stravolto la vita…mi hanno insegnato a vivere. Mi hanno insegnato a diventare quello che sono. E, anche se oggi tra noi resta solamente un sorriso o un semplice ciao, faranno per sempre parte della mia vita. Io non dimentico NESSUNO. Non dimentico chi ha toccato con mano, almeno per una volta la mia vita. Perché se lo hanno fatto, significa che il destino ha voluto che mi scontrassi anche con loro prima di andare avanti.
1. Kiss that cute boy at the party, but push him away as soon as he puts his hand up your skirt
2. Smoke a cigarette for the first time, and make it your last
3. Don’t straighten your hair for a week, see how many compliments you get 
4. Blast your favourite song even when your mum has told you off for playing it too loudly. Enjoy those 3 minutes of pure happiness before she pulls the plug out.
5. Say yes to going out, you’ll have something to tell your grandchildren about 
6. Paint a sun on a rainy day, then stick it to the window 
7. Eat the cupcake, you have better things to worry about than those 300 calories
8. Do yoga and meditate as often as possible
9. Stand up for yourself. Someone called you a slut? Someone said you are ugly? Someone said your art work was boring and dull? That is your cue to fucking stand up for yourself and make them speechless
10. Don’t respond to a group of males whistling at you. You’re a human being, not a fucking dog
11. Leave your headphones at home, see how much you are missing out on because you’re always lost in your own thoughts
12. Carry hand sanitizer and bandaids in your purse 
13. Wear sexy underwear, loads of leather, a fur coat, heels and purple lipstick. Do it for yourself, not for the hot guy next door.
14. If you’re having a bad day, cry, scream, punch a pillow, throw stuff around. Then you pick up the mess, including yourself and get back up.
15. Smile, be polite and get on peoples good sides for starters
16. Stop waiting for your crush, stop dressing up for the bar man that serves you a free drink or staying extra hours at work for your boss. Stop impressing these dickheads and start impressing yourself. 
17. Laugh until you cry, and when the girl sitting next to you in class tells you to shut up, laugh even louder. 
18. Do whatever feels right in the moment, laugh, cringe and regret it later. Repeat.

*something i thought it is interesting

Note: My investigation of the newly revealed

Gospel of Jesus’s Wife can be found here.

Part 1: Introduction
These days, one of the questions I often receive about Jesus has to do with his marital status. This question didn’t just drop out of heaven, however. It was born of the popularity of Dan Brown’s controversial novel, The Da Vinci Code. This novel advocates the thesis that Jesus was in fact married to the woman we know as Mary Magdalene, that they had a child together, and that this “truth” was covered up by the church for self-serving reasons.
Many readers of The Da Vinci Code, believing the fictional history of the novel to be true, have been buzzing about the possibility of Jesus’ having been married. In a recent survey conducted by the online religious website Beliefnet, 19% of respondents said they believe that Mary Magdalene was in fact Jesus’ wife.
In this article I will examine the historical evidence for and against Jesus’ purported marriage. Whether we’d like to think of him as married or not is not particularly relevant here. What matters is historical evidence. We don’t need more ranting and raving about this issue, no matter what the position of the ranters and ravers. Rather, in the mythical words of Joe Friday, we need “Just the facts, ma’am.”
Finding the facts isn’t easy, however, because we have very little overt historical evidence for or against the marriage of Jesus. The earliest and most reliable records of his life – the New Testament gospels – do not tell us explicitly whether Jesus was married or not. They don’t mention his having a wife. Nor do they state that he was unmarried.
The silence of the New Testament gospels has given rise to a cacophony of conflicting voices. Some see in these writings a plot to cover up the truth about Jesus. Others see the silence of the gospels as proof that Jesus could not have been married. It does seem rather fantastic to imagine that if Jesus had been married to Miriam of Magdala, whom we know as Mary Magdalene, or to any other woman for that matter, this fact would have been completely omitted from all of the earliest records of Jesus’ life. Those who claim that the earliest Christians conspired to hide this information because it confirmed the fact that Jesus wasn’t divine forget that the supposed conspirators often gave their lives because they believed Jesus to have been divine. Would they have died for something they knew to be a lie? I rather doubt it.
Nevertheless, there are some who argue that the silence of the New Testament gospels should be taken as strong evidence for the marriage of Jesus. Let us turn to this argument.
Part 2: New Testament Evidence for the Married Jesus
The New Testament contains no explicit answer to the question of Jesus’ marital state. It never mentions his wife, nor that he was unmarried. In fact, whenever the New Testament gospels refer to Jesus’ natural relatives, they speak only of his father, mother, and siblings, but never of a wife.
Although almost all scholars of all religious persuasions take this as strong evidence of the singleness of Jesus, a few have proposed that, in fact, Jesus was married. In 1970, for example, William E. Phipps published Was Jesus Married? The Distortion of Sexuality in the Christian Tradition. In this book Phipps argued that the silence of the New Testament about the marital status of Jesus indicates that Jesus was in fact married. Why? Because virtually every Jewish man in Jesus’ day did marry, especially those who were considered to be Rabbis.
One major problem with this argument, among several, is that it makes no room for an exception. Jesus was not required by law – either governmental or religious – to marry. And, though he was in many ways a normal Jewish man (see Chapter 2 of my book Jesus Revealed), in others ways he was utterly unusual. If, when he reached the age at which young men in his day married, Jesus and his family realized that he had a special calling which would make marriage quite difficult, then he could surely have remained single. Yes, this would have been perceived as an unusual, even a counter-cultural choice. But then Jesus never shied away from the unusual or counter-cultural, especially when it came to his relationships with women.
Excursus: Unmarried Jewish Men in the Time of Jesus
Two prominent Jewish writers from the first-century A.D., Philo and Josephus, mention that some Jewish men in the time of Jesus were single by choice. Philo, a contemporary of Jesus, was a Jewish philosopher who lived in Alexandria, Egypt, and who wrote many volumes in the first half of the century. Josephus was a Jewish historian who wrote near the end of the century. Both Philo and Josephus mention that the Essenes, a group of apocalyptic Jews who eagerly awaited God’s intervention in history, did not marry by choice. Here are excerpts from their writings:
Philo, Hypothetica 11.14-17
Again, perceiving with more than ordinary acuteness and accuracy, what is alone or at least above all other things calculated to dissolve such associations, they repudiate marriage; and at the same time they practise continence in an eminent degree; for no one of the Essenes ever marries a wife . . . . This now is the enviable system of life of these Essenes, so that not only private individuals but even mighty kings, admiring the men, venerate their sect, and increase their dignity and majesty in a still higher degree by their approbation and by the honours which they confer on them.
Josephus, Jewish War, 2.8.2
These Essenes reject pleasures as an evil, but esteem continence, and the conquest over our passions, to be virtue. They neglect wedlock, but choose out other persons’ children, while they are pliable, and fit for learning, and esteem them to be of their kindred, and form them according to their own manners. They do not absolutely deny the fitness of marriage, and the succession of mankind thereby continued; but they guard against the lascivious behavior of women, and are persuaded that none of them preserve their fidelity to one man.
Josephus, Antiquities 18.1.5
It also deserves our admiration, how much [the Essenes] exceed all other men that addict themselves to virtue, and this in righteousness; and indeed to such a degree, that as it hath never appeared among any other men, neither Greeks nor barbarians, no, not for a little time, so hath it endured a long while among them. This is demonstrated by that institution of theirs, which will not suffer any thing to hinder them from having all things in common; so that a rich man enjoys no more of his own wealth than he who hath nothing at all. There are about four thousand men that live in this way, and neither marry wives, nor are desirous to keep servants; as thinking the latter tempts men to be unjust, and the former gives the handle to domestic quarrels; but as they live by themselves, they minister one to another.
There can be no doubt that many Essenes (scholars say that some might have been married) chose to be unmarried. According to Philo and Josephus, they did so because they thought that women had a negative impact on men. There’s no reason to believe that Jesus shared this perspective. But He did join the Essenes in accepting an apocalyptic worldview that anticipated the coming of God’s kingdom. This, as we’ll see tomorrow, helps to explain Jesus’s unusual attitude toward singleness and marriage.
Both Philo and Josephus attest to the fact that Essene men remained single in the time of Jesus. But, one might argue, this kind of behavior was common only on the outskirts of Jewish society. Mainline Jews, if you will, would have looked down upon Essene celibacy.
Yet, this argument ignores the plain evidence from both Philo and Josephus. Notice, these authors don’t only mention the Essene practice of being unmarried, they praise it! Philo describes Essene celibacy as an “enviable system,” adding that it is admired and praised by ordinary men and kings. Josephus explains Essene singleness in a passage that begins, “It also deserves our admiration how much they exceed all other men that addict themselves to virtue.” In other words, neither Philo nor Josephus criticizes Essene celibacy. Both writers praise it enthusiastically.
So, in light of what we find in these first-century Jewish writers, it makes no sense to claim, as does Langdon, that “the social decorum during that time virtually forbid a Jewish man to be unmarried. According to Jewish custom, celibacy was condemned . . . .” In fact, we have solid evidence that some Jewish men chose to remain unmarried, and that leading Jewish thinkers praised them for this choice.
Unlike other Jewish teachers of his day, Jesus had close relationships with women, many of whom were his followers (Luke 8:2-3) and learned from him (Luke 10:38-42). Several of these women are mentioned by name in the New Testament gospels, including, Mary Magdalene, Joanna, and Susanna, who together helped to support Jesus and his other disciples financially (Luke 8:2-3). But nothing in the New Testament suggests that Jesus was ever married to any of these women, or to any other woman, for that matter.
But, you might wonder, what about Mary Magdalene? Isn’t there evidence that suggests she was in fact married to Jesus? In the rest of this article I’ll examine this evidence, looking both at the New Testament and at the non-biblical gospels that are touted to contain evidence of Jesus’ marriage to Mary Magdalene.
For now we must acknowledge that the main argument in favor of Jesus’ marriage is at best weakly circumstantial. It fails to reckon with the unique calling of Jesus and his tendency to flaunt certain cultural conventions. Moreover, it forces us to believe that the most reliable accounts of Jesus’ life failed to mention one of the most salient aspects of that life. How unlikely!
Part 3: Mary Magdalene in the New Testament
These days the question of Jesus’ marriage generally focuses on his supposed wife: Mary Magdalene. What exactly can we know about this woman, both from the New Testament and from other ancient documents? In this part I’ll focus on the New Testament evidence. The extra-biblical material will be examined below.
Once again, my main point is to look carefully at the real historical evidence, not to posit wild theories or defend orthodoxy simply because I happen to be an orthodox Christian. I begin with the New Testament gospels because they are the oldest evidence we have, having been written only a few decades after the death of Jesus, and containing sources that are much older.
Several women named Mary are mentioned in the biblical gospels, including Jesus’ mother and Mary from Bethany (sister of Martha and Lazarus, the woman whom Jesus praised for learning from him, Luke 10:38-42). One of these “Marys” is referred to as “Magdalene,” which means “from the village of Magdala.”
Mary Magdalene is first mentioned as one of the women who accompanied Jesus on his preaching mission and helped to support him financially (Luke 8:1-3). Luke adds that seven demons had been cast out of her, presumably by Jesus (Luke 8:2). Nothing in this passage suggests that there was anything unusual about Mary’s relationship with Jesus, other than the very unusual fact that she was included among Jesus’ retinue. Jewish teachers in Jesus’ day usually didn’t teach women or include them as followers. In his inclusive practice Jesus was virtually unique, and his relationship with Mary and her female counterparts quite counter-cultural.
The next time we run into Mary Magdalene she is among the women who observe the crucifixion of Jesus (Mark 15:40). Then, on Easter morning she and a couple of female companions go to the tomb of Jesus, only to find it empty. Mary, according to John 20, encounters Jesus near the tomb, and then goes to announce his resurrection to the other disciples (John 20:1-18). In a sense, she is the first Christian evangelist, the first person to pass on the good news of Easter.
This is all we know about Mary Magdalene from the biblical gospels. Several centuries after these texts were written, Mary became associated with the prostitute who bathed and anointed Jesus’ feet (Luke 7:36-50). But there’s nothing in Scripture that makes this connection. We have no reason to believe that Mary had ever been a prostitute.
There’s also nothing whatsoever in the biblical material to suggest that Mary was Jesus’ wife, or, as some have suggested, that he had a sexual relationship with her outside of marriage. If Jesus and Mary had been married, then we should expect that he would have entrusted her into the care of the Beloved Disciple at the cross, just as he did with his mother (19:27). The absence of this action strongly suggests that Jesus and Mary were not married.
What is exceptional about Mary, when understood in her own cultural setting, is that she was one of Jesus’ closest followers. Moreover, she was the first witness to the risen Christ, a role of exceptional honor and privilege. Surely Jesus held Mary in the highest regard, though not as his wife. Ironically, the efforts to turn Mary the disciple of Jesus into Mary the wife of Jesus actually minimize how truly extraordinary she was as a central follower, supporter, and witness of Jesus.
Because nothing in the New Testament suggests that Jesus and Mary were married, those who advocate this position claim to rely on the evidence of non-canonical “gospels.” Do these extra-biblical writings in fact reveal a secret marriage between Jesus and Mary? Throughout the rest of this article I’ll scrutinize this evidence.
Part 4: Mary Magdalene in the Non-Canonical Gospels
Most people are not familiar with the non-canonical gospels. Thus when they hear that these writings reveal Jesus’ marriage to Mary Magdalene, they are at a loss to evaluate this claim, and often accept it at face value. Many even assume that the non-canonical evidence for Jesus’ marriage must be strong and ample since some writers get so excited about it. In fact the actual evidence is both weak and scanty, as we’ll see.
In the rest of this article I’ll summarize what we learn about Mary Magdalene from the non-biblical writings. These writings can be found in several published sources. (See note at the end of this article.)
A word of caution before we begin to look at the non-canonical evidence: Dating of the non-biblical gospels is perilous because we have so little solid evidence. Those who want to see these gospels as reliable historical sources often push their authorship as early as possible, sometimes even into the first century A.D. For reasons I can’t pursue here, this dating is unlikely in almost every case. Most credible scholars date the writing of the non-canonical gospels in the second or third century A.D. These texts are, at any rate, later than the biblical gospels by a long shot (with the possible exception of the Gospel of Thomas, which may have been written in the first century, though this is not at all certain). Several of the non-canonical gospels are named after one of the original disciples of Jesus, including Mary, but these disciples had nothing to do with the actual writing of the extra-biblical gospels. For each of the gospels I’ll suggest when they might have been written, choosing a date that in that reflects scholarly consensus, where such is available.
Part 4a: Mary Magdalene in the Gospel of Thomas
Since I’ve mentioned the Gospel of Thomas, and since it’s probably the earliest and best known of the non-canonical gospels, let’s begin by seeing how it portrays Mary Magdalene.
Mary plays a tiny role in the Gospel of Thomas, asking Jesus a question about the disciples: “Whom are your disciples like?” (section 21, trans. Thomas O. Lambdin). This is the only place she speaks. She is mentioned at the end of this gospel in a most curious passage, which reads:
Simon Peter said to them, “Let Mary leave us, for women are not worthy of Life.” Jesus said, “I myself shall lead her in order to make her male, so that she too may become a living spirit resembling you males. For every woman who will make herself male will enter the Kingdom of Heaven.” (section 114)
One would be hard pressed to see in this passage much hope for women, let alone for the thesis that Jesus and Mary were married. This passage, in its own strange way, does affirm what we already know from the canonical gospels: that Mary was included among Jesus’ followers and that Jesus himself intentionally included women. Of course in the biblical record he valued them as women, not as beings that had eternal value if they became male. Maleness, in this text, should not be understood literally, but as a symbol of one’s spiritual or divine nature.
So, one who is looking for evidence of a secret marriage between Jesus and Mary will be disappointed by the earliest of the non-canonical gospels. The Gospel of Thomas, in its peculiar way, simple underscores what we know of Mary from the biblical gospels.
Part 4b: Mary Magdalene in The Gospel of Peter
The Gospel of Peter, written in the second century A.D., focuses only on the last hours in the life of Jesus. It is noteworthy for its view that Jesus felt no pain when crucified (section 10) and for its exoneration of Pontius Pilate for the death of Jesus (sections 1, 45-46). Mary Magdalene appears only on Easter morning, when she and her women friends come to the tomb of Jesus to weep for him. She is described as “a female disciple [Greekmathetria ] of the Lord” (section 50,). At the tomb, Mary and her friends see an angel who announces the resurrection of Jesus, and they run away frightened (section 56-57).
In the Gospel of Peter we find no evidence whatsoever for a marriage between Mary and Jesus. But, once again, Mary is portrayed as a female disciple of Jesus.
Part 4c: Mary Magdalene in The Dialogue of the Savior
The Dialogue of the Savior, also written in the second century A.D., is a dialogue between the Savior (never called Jesus or Christ) and some of his disciples, including Mary. The disciples ask questions about esoteric religious things, and Jesus gives equally esoteric answers. Although Mary is one of the frequent interrogators of the Savior, at one point she makes an observation. The text explains, “This word she spoke as a woman who knew the All” (Section 139, trans. Harold Attridge). In other words, Mary has special knowledge of spiritual reality.
There is no hint in The Dialogue of the Savior of a marriage between Jesus and Mary (or the Savior and Mary). She is seen, once again, as central among the disciples of the Savior, and as a person with special insight.
Part 4d: Mary Magdalene in The Sophia of Jesus Christ
The Sophia of Jesus Christ is a post-resurrection dialogue between the risen Christ and some of his followers, including Mary. It may have been written as early as the middle of the second century A.D. Twice in this gospel Mary asks questions of Christ, such as “Holy Lord, where did your disciples come from, and where are they going, and (what) should they do here?” (section 114, trans. Douglas M. Parrott). Mary is not singled out further, nor is there a suggestion of a marriage to Jesus.
Part 4e: Mary Magdalene in The Pistis Sophia
The Pistis Sophia is a Gnostic gospel written sometime during the third century A.D. It is a revelation of Christ in which Mary plays a prominent role, asking the majority of the questions about all measure of esoteric matters.
Mary is praised in The Pistis Sophia as one “whose heart is more directed to the Kingdom of Heaven than all [her] brothers” (Chapter 17, trans. Carl Schmidt and Violet MacDermott). Jesus says that she is “blessed beyond all women upon the earth, because [she shall be] the pleroma of all Pleromas and the completion of all completions” (section 19). In other words, Mary will have the fullness of knowledge and therefore spiritual life within her. So impressed is Jesus with Mary’s spiritual excellence that he promises not to conceal anything from her, but to reveal everything to her “with certainty and openly” (section 25). She is the blessed one who will “inherit the whole Kingdom of the Light” (section 61).
From The Pistis Sophia we see the growing interest in Mary among Gnostic Christians, who valued knowledge (gnosis in Greek) above all. She has come to be regarded as a source of hidden revelation because of her intimate relationship with Jesus. Nothing in this gospel suggests a marriage between them, however.
Part 4f: Mary Magdalene in The Gospel of Mary
The Gospel of Mary, written in the second century, goes even further than The Pistis Sophia in portraying Mary as a source of secret revelation because of her close relationship to the Savior. At one point Peter asks, “Sister, We know that the Savior loved you more than the rest of women. Tell us the words of the Savior which you remember–which you know but we do not nor have we heard them” (section 10, trans. George W. MacRae and R. McL. Wilson). So Mary reveals what the Lord made known to her in a vision, the content of which seems like mumbo-jumbo to anyone other than a second-century Gnostic.
The Gospel of Mary reports that several of the disciples were none too impressed by Mary’s purported insights into heavenly things. Andrew responded to her revelation by saying “I at least do not believe that the Savior said this. For certainly these teachings are strange ideas” (section 17). Then Peter asked, “Did he really speak privately with a woman and not openly to us? Are we to turn about and all listen to her? Did he prefer her to us?” But Levi speaks up for Mary, “Peter, you have always been hot-tempered. Now I see you contending against the woman like the adversaries. But if the Savior made her worthy, who are you indeed to reject her? Surely the Savior knows her very well. That is why he loved her more than us” (section 18).
Ah, at last, here’s fuel for the fire of a secret marriage between Mary and Jesus. She is the recipient of his secret revelations and private speeches. The Savior, who is not called Jesus in The Gospel of Mary, even preferred Mary to the other disciples, loving her more than them. Mary’s relationship with Jesus has clearly entered a new dimension we have not seen before.
But there is nothing here to suggest that Jesus and Mary were married. Jesus’ love for Mary leads him to reveal special truth to her, not to take her as his wife. Nothing in The Gospel of Mary points to a sexual or spousal relationship between Jesus and Mary.
Part 4g: Mary Magdalene in The Gospel of Philip
Finally we come to The Gospel of Philip, the last of the extra-biblical gospels to mention Mary Magdalene, and the one that excites proponents of her marriage to Jesus more than any other ancient document.
The Gospel of Philip is one of the latest of the non-canonical gospels, written well into the third-century. It is not a gospel in any ordinary sense, but rather a collection of theological observations written from a Gnostic point of view. Some but not all of these observations mention Jesus. Two passages refer to Mary Magdalene, who plays a tiny role in this gospel.
The first of these passages reads, “There were three who always walked with the Lord: Mary his mother and her sister and Magdalene, the one who was called his companion” (section 59). Much has been insinuated about the word companion, which, in the Greek original is koinonos. But, contrary to the wishful thinking of some, this word doesn’t mean spouse or sexual consort. It means “partner”, and is used several times in the New Testament with this ordinary meaning (for example, when Paul refers to himself as Philemon’s koinonos in the Philemon 1:17).
The second passage in The Gospel of Philip that concerns Mary is the most suggestive: “And the companion of the Savior is Mary Magdalene. But Christ loved her more than all the disciples and used to kiss her often on her mouth. The rest of the disciples were offended by it and expressed disapproval. They said to him, ‘Why do you love her more than all of us?’ The Savior answered and said to them, ‘Why do I not love you like her?’ When a blind man and one who sees are both together in darkness, they are no different from one another. Then the light comes, then he who sees will see the light, and he who is blind will remain in darkness” (sections 63-63).
Even if we suppose that this passage, which appears in no other document, and which was written two centuries after the biblical gospels, conveys historically accurate information, the passage itself seems to disprove Jesus’ marriage to Mary. Surely if Jesus had been married to Mary then his special affection for her wouldn’t have been an offense. And surely Jesus could have satisfied the disciples’ question by explaining that Mary was his wife. But he doesn’t do this. Instead he explains his special affection for Mary by pointing to her ability to see the light, that is, to have knowledge. Nothing in this passage suggests that Jesus and Mary were married, even if we read it literally. Moreover, given what is said elsewhere in The Gospel of Philip about kissing (sections 58-59), it’s possible that this passage isn’t even meant to be taken literally. The text may very well use the metaphor of kissing to say that Jesus revealed truth to Mary. If this is true, the The Gospel of Philip is consistent with what we have seen elsewhere in the Gnostic gospels.
That’s it. That’s the best non-canonical evidence for the marriage of Jesus and Mary: a passage which, even if taken at face value as a historically accurate account, which one would be silly to do, seems to contradict the hypothetical marriage. The only way to find this marriage in the non-canonical gospels is to interject it there yourself. The texts simply do not support this theory that Jesus and Mary were married.
Part 5: Conclusions
One who has read The Da Vinci Code and been persuaded to accept its fictional history as fact will no doubt object at this point: “But you don’t understand. Jesus’ marriage to Mary was a secret. These texts only give tiny clues. The real truth of Jesus’ marriage was hidden, and that’s why the non-canonical gospels say so little about it.” Of course this could be true, theoretically speaking. But I’d argue that we have much more evidence for Jesus having been an alien from outer space than the husband of Mary Magdalene. After all, he is transfigured on a mountain with glowing beings (Mark 9:2-8) and he ascends to heaven in a cloud (Acts 1:9). One can make up all sorts of theories about Jesus, but the only way to evaluate these theories is with the facts of the ancient texts we have. And these texts simply do not support the theory of Jesus’ marriage.
You may well wonder why I have spent so much time analyzing the biblical and the non-biblical evidence for the alleged marriage of Jesus. Couldn’t the it have been dismissed in a few summary observations, thus saving me the time it took to write this stuff and you the time it took to read it?
Yes, I could have simply pooh-poohed the whole thing as fictional nonsense. But this wouldn’t be helpful to you when your friend, having just read The Da Vinci Code, is sure that the non-canonical gospels are really full of evidence about Jesus’ marriage to Mary Magdalene. Given the sustained popularity of Dan Brown’s novel , the issue of Jesus’ marriage to Mary is a live one today and will continue to be for quite a long time. Many people, both Christians and non-believers, have been led to believe that Jesus was probably married to Mary, and that there is lots of non-canonical evidence for this marriage. They take Dan Brown’s historical fiction as gospel-truth, so to speak.
Moreover, I have spent time going over the non-canonical material in detail because most Christians (and non-Christians) are unfamiliar with these texts. So when somebody says, “The non-canonical gospels really show that Jesus was married,” most believers don’t know how to respond. Now you have seen the evidence, and you know how to respond. You have more direct exposure to the non-biblical gospels than 99.9% of the population. So when someone states confidently that the non-canonical gospels reveal Jesus’ marriage to Mary, you can respond, “Well, have you ever studied what the non-canonical gospels actually say about Jesus and Mary?” To which the answer will almost always be “No.” To which you can add, “You know, I’ve actually looked at this evidence, and there is nothing there. Mary appears rarely in the non-canonical gospels, and when she does appear, it’s usually as a close disciple of Jesus, and sometimes as one who reveals special knowledge that Jesus revealed first to her. That’s it.”
Another reason I have taken time on this issue is that most proponents of the marriage of Jesus thesis have an agenda. They are trying to strip Jesus of his uniqueness, and especially his deity. They want a Jesus who was a mere human being, one with spiritual insight, but otherwise ordinary. The supposed marriage of Jesus is taken by many to be proof that he really wasn’t God in the flesh, but only a mortal man.
Along with Christians throughout the ages, I believe that Jesus was fully God and fully human. To be sure I can’t fully comprehend or explain this mystery, but I believe it nevertheless. My faith in the unique nature of Jesus doesn’t demand that he was single, ironically enough. Jesus could have married and maintained his sinless, human-divine nature. But we have no evidence to suggest that he did this. We can speculate about the reasons. I imagine that Jesus realized his unique calling was incompatible with marriage and family life. But I don’t know this for a fact.
Excursus: Why Jesus Didn’t Get Married
If indeed Jesus wasn’t married, why? Why did he not do what was common for a Jewish man in his time of history?
Before I attempt to answer this question, I should note that the New Testament doesn’t address this issue directly. Speculating about Jesus’s motives when they’re not explained in Scripture is always a little dicey. So beware. I say this also because some of the reasons Christians have given for the singleness of Jesus aren’t very good. One is quite bad, actually, and I’ll dispense with this before I go on.
A Bad Reason for the Singleness of Jesus
Historically, many Christians have thought that sex is somehow intrinsically sinful. Although the Old Testament makes it abundantly clear that sex was a part of God’s good creation (see, for example, Genesis 1-2 or the Song of Solomon), as Christianity was pressed through the mold of Greek philosophy and early Christian asceticism, it emerged with a different shape, one in which sexual intimacy between husband and wife was a physical necessity, but not a wonderful part of God’s creation. Christians who reject the goodness of sex argue that Jesus didn’t marry because it would have been wrong for Him to be sexually intimate with His wife. This view is not consistent with biblical revelation, which celebrates sexual intimacy in marriage. So it wasn’t the wrongness of sex that kept Jesus single.
A Possible Reason for the Singleness of Jesus
As people have been batting around the question of Jesus’s marriage in the last couple years, thanks to Dan Brown, I’ve heard some Christians say, “Well, Jesus couldn’t have been married because, if He had been, then He might have fathered a child, and this would lead to all sorts of theological problems.” I agree that it would be hard to figure out theologically what to do with the child of Jesus. Would that child inherit a sinful nature? Would that child be three-fourths human and one-fourth God? (I’m not serious about this, b y the way!) Of course God could have kept a married Jesus from conceiving a child, but this gets pretty messy. So it’s possible that Jesus didn’t marry because because of the complications associated with His fatherhood, but I’m not persuaded this is the right explanation of His singleness.
A Pragmatic Reason for the Singleness of Jesus
Well, a little Google surfing turns up proof that Jesus was married. Quite a good looking couple too, though I don’t think this is what Dan Brown has in mind. (Note: I did not doctor this picture, other than to blur the names to protect the innocent.)
Some have argued that Jesus remained single because He knew that He wouldn’t be able to fulfill His marital and parental obligations adequately. If Jesus knew, even years before His itinerant ministry began, that He’d be roaming around the Galilean countryside preaching and healing, then He might well have determined that this wasn’t a good basis for family life. Moreover, if Jesus knew that His ministry would lead to confrontation with the authorities and ultimately death at the hand of Rome, then He might have thought that this was not suitable for a husband and/or father. I believe this pragmatic reason is heading in the right direction, but still hasn’t hit the bull’s eye.
A Theological Reason for the Singleness of Jesus
In Matthew 19 Jesus is asked about the circumstances in which divorce is lawful. His answer makes it clear that He holds marriage in the highest regard, and that divorce is therefore legal in rare circumstances only (vv. 3-9). In response to Jesus’s “hard line” on divorce, His disciples say, “If such is the case of a man with his wife, it is better not to marry” (v. 10). Jesus responds:
“Not everyone can accept this teaching, but only those to whom it is given. For there are eunuchs who have been so from birth, and there are eunuchs who have been made eunuchs by others, and there are eunuchs who have made themselves eunuchs for the sake of the kingdom of heaven. Let anyone accept this who can.” (vv. 11-12)
Most commentators believe, and I agree, that Jesus is not speaking here of literal eunuchs, but of those who are celibate, and, in most cases, unmarried. Some people, Jesus explains, choose to be celibate “for the sake of the kingdom of heaven” (v. 12). To put it differently, some people might choose to devote all that they are to proclaiming and living out God’s kingdom. They would find earthly responsibilities, such as those that go with marriage and parenting, a hindrance to their kingdom calling. This is similar to the situation of the disciples who were called away from their professions (fishermen, tax collectors, etc.) in order to follow Jesus with singular purpose.
So, in light of the coming of God’s kingdom, and in light of Jesus’s commitment to announce and inaugurate the kingdom, He might have chosen to remain single so that nothing would distract Him from His primary calling and purpose. Although Jesus does not say specifically, “The agenda of the kingdom explains why I am not married,” I believe that this passage from Matthew 19 provides a theologically satisfying reason for why Jesus remained single. Thus it covers the objection of Robert Langdon in The Da Vinci Code: “If Jesus were not married, at least one of the Bible’s gospels would have mentioned it and offered some explanation for His unnatural state of bachelorhood.” The explanation, in Jesus’s own words, is that the kingdom of God calls some people, including Jesus Himself, to a wholehearted commitment and investment that precludes getting married.
And I do care about facts. Yes, I’m aware of the postmodern critique of knowledge and truth. And I’m aware of my own inadequacy when it comes to discerning truth and falsehood. (I’ve written about these very things in my book, Dare to Be True.) But Christianity isn’t a figment of the imagination. It’s not wishful thinking. It’s based upon what God has done in history, most of all through Jesus Christ. Thus we should make every effort to find out what really happened. We should look at the best evidence we have when we make our historical judgments. Wild theories that depend on unreliable evidence produced centuries after an event might make for entertaining fiction, but they aren’t the stuff of genuine faith.
Perhaps the most amazing facts concerning the relationship of Mary Magdalene and Jesus are those that emerge from the pages of Scripture, and which, ironically, are also supported in much of the non-canonical literature as well. Mary was a close follower of Jesus, who accompanied him on his journeys, helped to support him financially, learned from him, remained faithful to him even in his darkest hour when his male disciples fell away, was the first to see him after the resurrection, and was the first person in history to announce to others the good news that Jesus is risen. Jesus’ intentional inclusion of Mary, in a day when Jewish teachers almost never had female disciples or taught women, is a striking symbol of the inclusiveness of the kingdom of God. Most women living under God’s reign will still fill traditional roles of wife and mother, though single women have new freedom and power to serve God in their singleness (1 Corinthians 7). But women will not be defined primarily by their roles in the family, but by their relationship to Jesus as his disciple. This was true of Mary Magdalene in the first century, and it’s true of every female Christian today.