“I have been told
time and time again
that people never change.
But I refuse to believe that the wires in my neurons 
are still connected the way they once were
I have changed.
The rising storm over the oceans in my head have parted
and the waters are so crystal clear I can taste every drop
I am no longer the girl who drowns in oceans made of whiskey
and spineless men, unwilling to open her rib cage for fear of falling in.
Sleeves pulled down in the middle of the sweltering Texas air,
letting their questions slide by without a single blink.
Never again.
I am no longer the drug addict
who was more of a pin cushion than she was a human being.
I am not her.
“89 pounds is the perfect weight, you have no fucking right!”
The girl who jab forks in her thighs as a reminder of
all the space she was taking up.
Too weak to press her pen to paper.
Too malnourished to even perceive screaming for help.
No.
I will no longer be the girl who was always in need of a fix
or to be fixed.
She does not exist.
I’ve found my pieces and sewn myself back up.”