“

I drink to burn the taste of your name from my lips- just to scream it into my pillows at 3 a.m;

(Right around the time I drunk-text you more often than I should: “r u horny -smiley face- I mean home”… I really don’t.)

Touching myself to the thought of you touching me.
I want to let you in but I’m not drunk enough to be that weak.

(How come I can’t cum? I made you breakfast last week.)

I can still feel you in these sheets. I’m not sure what I miss more- breakfast in bed or the way you devoured me.

(But the only thing I’ve eaten today is liquor. I need your nutrients- Your between the knee nirvana- namaste nasty- and I know you’re awake so answer my text: r u hormney)

You’re in my inbox but I wish you were inside me- But I can’t tell you that so I’ll let you think I fell asleep.

(I know she’s not asleep.)

How can I sleep comfortably in a bed that’s as empty as me? I let you inside me. You lit fires instead of setting butterflies free.

(Fuck. I drank too much. My head is beating in my chest and I don’t remember what that feels like because I lost my only heart in your butterfly stomach. “I’m sorry”- send)

There’s not enough alcohol in the world to make me forget your lips… Or how the taste of your apologies make me sick.

(I’m sick of feeling sorry. She doesn’t lay her head on my chest like you used to. And she sleeps rougher than the sex I wanna have with you right now- Just open the door! I’m tired of banging on 305. Wait… You live in 307)

I’m sick of feeling used; he laughs at all my jokes & lays me down like he’s afraid to break me- but he’s not you.
I can’t keep letting you in to watch you leave- You’re only on my door step because you’re drunk enough to admit that she’s not me.

(Fuck her! If that’s what it takes for you to fuck me- and I love you so much my knuckles are bleeding your favorite color. -message read- she’s awake!)

I love you.
I fucking love you!
Or maybe I just love fucking you- I want another reason to scream your name into my pillows. You wrote “mine” in between my thighs, with your tongue- I know we’re both drunk but if I let you in, I know I’ll still love you in the morning.

I still love you.