Wednesday, May 7, 2014

Creating delusions
When you lie no one wins.
I had a whole year worth of an on and off drama that was a whirlwind of lies. I can’t say that I did not participate in the lies, well technically I was innocent because I neither was asked nor I never fessed up. I guess I was lying by default of not disclosing. Anyhoo the point was the other party was a bold face pathological liar, and his excuses ranged from “work” to “I’m just living my life” (like everyone else was rushing to die. OK sir, you are a well-educated moron, by I digress). That whole experience of lies on lies on lies, sprinkled with more lies, covered up by lies, hugged and smothered in lies made me even more sensitive and agitated by lies.
No one wins from lying.
Per that experience I strongly feel that not saying anything is not a lie, it’s not honest maybe but it’s not a lie. Due to that grey space of not lying but not being honest I since have learned that I need to be upfront with my personal actions, intentions, and motivations rather than allow anyone to participate in the dark. NO one should be deceived, but we all are. The truth has become shocking because we are used to lies, worse we comfortable with lies.
But no one wins from lies.  
Post dealing with Satan’s nephew. Rewind to a few months ago when I met this charming, attractive, nice enough guy from out of town. Allegedly educated. Allegedly single. Allegedly kid less. We had some drinks, exchanged numbers and that was pretty much it. We ended up following each other on Instagram. He constantly liked my pictures, made comments, flattering, slightly aggressive and a tad obnoxious but what am I going to do. It was all relatively harmless.
Per our Instagram “friendship”, I notice dude has a daughter….. Lie #1, this should have clued me into him being a big ol’ phoney. I then start to ignore him; mind you he constantly is asking to see me when he is in town. Lucky for me I always have plans (the win goes to being busy or as the devils relative used to say ‘living my life’- how I loathe douche catch phrases). I can’t stand last minute people, but that’s a different rant. So avoiding Mr. Charming was relatively easy.
Fast forward to me being bored at work. Scrolling my IG, Mr. Charming posts 2 pictures of a baby and I am like ohh that’s nice, and then I look at the hashtag #minime and I am like #waitwhat. How do you have a baby???? Soo like any normal bored female I investigate. The baby moms IG page is FULL of the happy couple. Then I notice that Mr. Charming has deleted most his suspect commentary on my images. Then I notice his one picture of the two of them with all kinds of loving hashtags #boo #wifey #love and I automatically feel terribly sorry for this beautiful potentially unsuspecting woman.
No one wins from lying.
I didn’t get more involved than my lil’ snoop session, but it made me think. Just about my own actions and intentions. About past ridiculousness, about how women perceive other women as threats and or the aggressor. How when I was lied to and deceived I luckily was able to put my frustration and anger on the perpetrator. In my situation I was very aware that I, and any other woman involved in the web of lies were all victims. Not everyone comes to that conclusion. Too often women blame other women. In reality when we lie we are victimizing everyone we lie too. We are not allowing them to live in a reality. We are not allowing them to make a fair choice to participate or not.
No one wins from lying.
 The whole snoop session made me sad. This woman from the photo has a deceitful boo, something I can relate to. His happens far too much. The funny thing is more people would appreciate honesty. I know in my year of lies, had dude been forthcoming with all of his actions, intentions, and deceptions I would have been able to walk away much sooner. I would not have had my feelings hurt so badly. Had we had genuine communication we might have remained friends. I might not have been so opposed to his extracurricular activities, but he lied.
No one wins from lying.
Post reflecting on these various lies I had to think about all the times I have witnessed lies. Who do people think they are protecting. What do you think you will gain from lying? Let me tell you, NOTHING. Lies always come to the light. Lies create drama. Lies create problems. Lies ruin friendships, relationships, and they kill trust, past, present, and future. Lying makes you look stupid, especially when you are caught.
No one wins from lying.,
Lying is disrespectful, tacky, and childish. No one wins when you lie. Lying is damaging, harmful, and toxic, and yet we hear and believe more lies daily than truths. Yet No one wins from lying.
No one wins when you lie. Not even the liar.
No one wins from lying. 

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