Discussing Conchita winning Eurovision with my boss:
Her: It’s wrong
Me: Why?
Her: Why should I have to explain that to my children, what he/she/it whatever she is?
Me: Why should you not, have to explain it to your children? And If you’re unsure what pronoun to use, you can say they or them, don’t say it!
Her: Whatever, my daughter asked why she had a beard, what am I supposed to say? If she wants to be a woman, be a normal woman, why does she have to have a beard, it’s confusing for my children!
Me: You can explain it like this: Imagine, that you feel comfortable as a woman, and as a man, and that you can take the best parts of both, and that’s how you feel happiest. It’s the same as you wearing jeans and a tshirt and feeling comfortable with yourself. Conchita feels beautiful in a dress, and with a beard. There’s nothing wrong with that.
Her: It’s wrong. Be a woman or be a man, there is no in between. I don’t care about if people want to dress like a woman, I don’t care if people are gay, I just don’t want it shoved in my face, and my children’s face.
Me: Don’t you see why that’s wrong? You can’t say you don’t have a problem with it, if you’d basically prefer they stay hidden.
Her: That’s their decision, I just don’t want it shoved in my face.
Me: Okay, well when did you decide you were straight…
Her: I didn’t, I just am, I just always have been.
Me: Then don’t shove it in my face. So what you’re saying is, it’s alright for instance, for straight people to kiss in public, but if two gay people were to kiss that’s wrong?
Her: You don’t understand me, you’re not listening, I haven’t got a problem with gay people, I have gay friends, I just don’t think it’s right for them to parade their values around on the television. Did you not hear what Conchita said, she said something about how ‘we’ can do whatever we want, that’s encouraging it!!
Me: It’s not encouraging anything, it’s giving people hope, it’s not all of a sudden going to turn people gay, or make men wear dresses. Don’t you see what you’re saying? You’re saying that you don’t care if people are gay, or cross dress, or whatever, but that they shouldn’t have the same rights as straight people, that they shouldn’t be allowed to kiss in public, or be on the television.
Her: No, no, you don’t understand.
Me: I think I understand perfectly. Let me ask you this, what if your son came to you one day, and said he had a crush on another boy?
Her: -pulls a face- I’d have to deal with it, I mean it would hurt me. But I’d deal with it.
Me: So do you not see, that by you at the moment forcing this ideology onto them that Conchita, cross dressing, being gay, all of that is wrong, you’re possibly denying them the ability to be comfortable with who they are? What if your son, or your daughter is gay. But that from listening to you, all their life saying it’s wrong, they never really feel like they can be who they want to be. That they have to hide it away, because you disapprove, because you say it’s wrong, and because of this, they’re never truly happy to be themselves.
Her: Well… not everybody thinks like you, you’re mad at me aren’t you?
Me: I’m not mad at you, you’re entitled to your own opinion. The world would be a terribly boring place if everyone had the same opinion. You never learn anything from someone who thinks exactly the same way as you.
Me: Why?
Her: Why should I have to explain that to my children, what he/she/it whatever she is?
Me: Why should you not, have to explain it to your children? And If you’re unsure what pronoun to use, you can say they or them, don’t say it!
Her: Whatever, my daughter asked why she had a beard, what am I supposed to say? If she wants to be a woman, be a normal woman, why does she have to have a beard, it’s confusing for my children!
Me: You can explain it like this: Imagine, that you feel comfortable as a woman, and as a man, and that you can take the best parts of both, and that’s how you feel happiest. It’s the same as you wearing jeans and a tshirt and feeling comfortable with yourself. Conchita feels beautiful in a dress, and with a beard. There’s nothing wrong with that.
Her: It’s wrong. Be a woman or be a man, there is no in between. I don’t care about if people want to dress like a woman, I don’t care if people are gay, I just don’t want it shoved in my face, and my children’s face.
Me: Don’t you see why that’s wrong? You can’t say you don’t have a problem with it, if you’d basically prefer they stay hidden.
Her: That’s their decision, I just don’t want it shoved in my face.
Me: Okay, well when did you decide you were straight…
Her: I didn’t, I just am, I just always have been.
Me: Then don’t shove it in my face. So what you’re saying is, it’s alright for instance, for straight people to kiss in public, but if two gay people were to kiss that’s wrong?
Her: You don’t understand me, you’re not listening, I haven’t got a problem with gay people, I have gay friends, I just don’t think it’s right for them to parade their values around on the television. Did you not hear what Conchita said, she said something about how ‘we’ can do whatever we want, that’s encouraging it!!
Me: It’s not encouraging anything, it’s giving people hope, it’s not all of a sudden going to turn people gay, or make men wear dresses. Don’t you see what you’re saying? You’re saying that you don’t care if people are gay, or cross dress, or whatever, but that they shouldn’t have the same rights as straight people, that they shouldn’t be allowed to kiss in public, or be on the television.
Her: No, no, you don’t understand.
Me: I think I understand perfectly. Let me ask you this, what if your son came to you one day, and said he had a crush on another boy?
Her: -pulls a face- I’d have to deal with it, I mean it would hurt me. But I’d deal with it.
Me: So do you not see, that by you at the moment forcing this ideology onto them that Conchita, cross dressing, being gay, all of that is wrong, you’re possibly denying them the ability to be comfortable with who they are? What if your son, or your daughter is gay. But that from listening to you, all their life saying it’s wrong, they never really feel like they can be who they want to be. That they have to hide it away, because you disapprove, because you say it’s wrong, and because of this, they’re never truly happy to be themselves.
Her: Well… not everybody thinks like you, you’re mad at me aren’t you?
Me: I’m not mad at you, you’re entitled to your own opinion. The world would be a terribly boring place if everyone had the same opinion. You never learn anything from someone who thinks exactly the same way as you.
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