My professor told us today that no one likes someone who is negative all the time, which I suppose is true.
HOWEVER.He then went on to say that when people ask how you’re doing or “how are you?” they don’t really mean it, and if you go on to spill all the things you’re dealing with, it will irritate them because they don’t care. “No one wants to hear that.”
And I almost stood up and left. Because that bullshit right there is why people say, “I’m fine,” when they aren’t. That’s why people put on a fake face and pretend to be happy when they aren’t. That’s why people who are struggling with something, especially those with depression, don’t reach out for help until it’s too late. That RIGHT THERE.
Because people are under the assumption that when someone asks, they don’t care. Because a lot of the time, people don’t. It’s become the typical greeting. “Hello, how are you?” It’s normal. It’s one of the first things people ask.
And it’s become a fake question. No one really cares. No one wants to hear.
But then, when someone finally opens up about something they’re swamped with, or someone attempts (or actually succeeds) to hurt themselves, or someone finally opens up about their depression, people act so surprised. Like, “She seemed fine!” “I never knew anything was wrong!” “Why didn’t they tell us?”
I WONDER WHY. It’s because no one acts like they care anymore. No one really wants to hear it.
So I am saying right now, to anyone I talk to, and to anyone I ever interact with ever. When I ask how you are or how your day was, I MEAN IT. I really want to know, and I want you to be able to share with me, no matter how negative it is. It needs to be let out.