Sunday, March 23, 2014

This is my story, now tell me yours.
I wish I could make an impact on someone’s life.  I want to be able to tell my story from start to finish.  I want to be not judged by how I feel. So, here is my story.
In 3rd grade I moved to Midland. I was the new kid… I made some friends but I lost those friends. I didn’t know anyone… I treated people badly because I thought that’s how you treated people. I was so wrong.
In 4th grade I was made fun of, badly. I felt like I had no one. I felt I was an outcast, and I was. Towards the end of 4th grade I punched a girl and was suspended for it. She has forgiven me, but I still haven’t forgiven myself. I was so stupid. She was my friend. And I HIT her. After that, there were many rumors about me. that “I threw a chair at the teacher”, that I “was just crazy”. It was horrible and I felt like I deserved it…
In 5th grade I went to a new school. They put me in the special education program. I spent most of my days locked in a blue room with nothing in it. After a while, my parents send me to the Mental Hospital. I hated them for it, but I needed it. I was manic depressive and suicidal. I got myself fixed up and I went back to school. The new medicine they gave me made it so i would fall asleep at noon. I didn’t learn much in 5th grade… During the summer I went back to the Mental Hospital.
In 6th grade, I joined up with my old class from 4th grade.  I was a new person. Much nicer, more tolerant. But everyone remembered that girl from 4th grade. The girl that I punched helped me through the first part of 6th grade but after a while, I got annoying… I tried to make as many friends as I could. but, it didn’t help that my 6th grade English teacher would pull my friends outside and tell them that they shouldn’t be friends with me. Some of them even listened… I had made friends but she turned them against me. My one friend stood by me through it all. She didn’t listen to that one teacher. But alas, I was still bullied by many people. I felt so alone. so, so alone…
In 7th grade, I was dismissed from special education because I really didn’t need it anymore. I can function like any other kid. I came out that I was bisexual because I thought everyone excepted me for who I was. I had a lot of friends. I was completely wrong. When  I told everyone, they all turned against me. I had no one. I was completely alone. People even made fun of me… One time, it got so bad  I was planning on committing suicide. I was literally out the window. But I knew it wouldn’t solve anything. I was still utterly alone though…
In 8th grade I only had 2 real friends. They helped me through everything. But, there was still that though of suicide in the back of my mind. People still made fun of me. They would throw garbage in my locker, they would make fun of the clothes I wore. I felt alone still even though I had people there for me.
I’m a 9th grader right now. My year has been quite crazy. I switched schools so I could escape the bullies. No one knew me at this new school. So why would they make fun of me? I have a lot of friends and they are great people. But the past has a way of catching up with you. People from the other school I was at still make fun of me. They told people at my new school. People make fun of me now… I switched schools so I could escape this… but I guess you can never escape the pain..
If you every need something, just tell me and I will be here for you. You are not alone.

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