Friday, March 7, 2014

Stupid Rant. Feel free to ignore it.
No one gives a care about me. It’s simply because I am SO awkward when trying to make conversation, people don’t want to talk to me anymore. That’s why I don’t even try to give an effort in trying to have a conversation. These “conversations” are mostly about guys. I am so awkward and it is ruining my life. I can’t even PRESENT in front of class without shaking so much. People don’t know how insecure I am. I look down to the ground whenever I’m walking in public. I even do that when someone is talking to me sometimes. I don’t mean to be rude but I feel like they’re going to see my flaws. Because yes, they are going to see that huge pimple on my nose, or see that white hair that I don’t need to pull out, or seeing that my hair is oily. I can’t look people in the eyes because it makes me feel like they’re looking for something to hate on me. It is SO easy to go on and laugh about something I’m doing. I do EVERYTHING wrong. Nothing I do is RIGHT. No guy will ever have an interest in me. They will always like the prettier girls and the girls who make better conversation. I don’t do my hair or wear makeup. I don’t WANT to do any of those things. But those things ISN’T the main reason guys will never have an interest in me. It’s because of my Social Skills. Crazy isn’t it?! Other girls are worried about their looks. Yet, I have to worry about looks AND my social skills. I’m sick and tired that I can’t even make a small conversation with a guy without hesitating. So little people have the problem I have, and it’s simply CRAZY. Do you realize I can’t even go up to the McDonald’s guy and ask for ketchup?! I don’t know WHAT this rant has turned into. But it’s mostly my Social Skills. I just want to lock myself where I don’t have to conversate with anyone, have to present to anyone, or anything. I don’t want this at all. I don’t know what my problem is, but it’s simply not normal. I just wish I could fix it someway without hurting myself. And this is the STUPIDEST problem to think about, I know. But that’s the main reason for all of my other problems like, boys, school presentations, and just doing anything in public :(

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