Blog Entry #: I don't know

Ever since college began I have anxiety like no other. And it’s pathetic really. It’s not from school work even. It’s the fact I live in a dorm. At first I know you hear that and think, what the fuck. But it’s like… I feel like I’m not in control of my surroundings anymore, and it puts me on edge. 
I’m in a building with like 300 other humans. Who can do whatever they want. If someone wants to be loud all night they can. If a suite mate wants to do whatever in our bathroom they can. If someone wants to throw a party, or bang on the wall, or hate you they can. They live here too. Whenever there’s a bump against the wall or someone yelling in the hallway or fucking above my head… I find myself tense up inside. Because I begin to think about how quiet it was at home. And how I can’t control anything around me. I’m anxious all the time. Its so stupid really.

Then there’s more, I have anxiety cause I don’t have many friends here. I’m anxious because there’s hardly any people of color at my school. (I used to be embarrassed saying that but that’s one thing I don’t mind saying. There’s no diversity and I didn’t know that coming in.) And last but not least I’m anxious because I don’t know whether I should leave or give it one more semester. Just had to get this off my chest… I hope no one from school actually reads this whole thing either. K bye. (◡︿◡✿)