Thoughts of giving up vs thoughts of holding on

I don’t know how and what I should feel anymore. I’ve been trying my best all along for nothing. I don’t even need anything in return, just a simple text from you is enough to brighten my entire day already. Your constant hot and cold treatment towards me is getting more and more unbearable. I am getting restless. I want to give up.

Then the other part of me kept holding on even knowing nothing will come out in the end. There will be no ending since there isn’t even a beginning. It was all my fault for free falling into nothingness. And I kept falling cause there’s no stop button when it comes to you. 

Are you even worth it? I don’t know. I feel you are.