My First Body

Monday October 1st, 2012   Connor.

There aren’t a lot of days I wish I could take back, but this was one of them.

Moving across the country in the middle of high school really threw me off. Socially, mentally, physically, and emotionally. I ended up getting involved with the wrong group of people and it got to the point where I was calling them my best friends which is scary as hell because looking back on my life, I had absolutely no idea what I was getting myself into. 

I was fully aware these friends of mine were into hardcore drugs like cocaine and heroin. I can honestly and proudly say, I have never used these drugs but I can’t lie and say I’ve never seriously thought about it. One day after school near the beginning of senior year of high school, a couple people (including myself) were invited over to Connor’s house to hang out. I, being the most punctual out of all my friends, was the first one to get to the house after I got out of cheerleading practice. I texted him that I was there. No response. I think I waited for like five minutes before I texted him again saying I was coming in. Still no response as I was already on his front porch twisting the doorknob and setting foot into the house. I called out for him multiple times and never got a response but I just figured he had his headphones in upstairs and he was playing a video game or something. I was wrong.

I walked into his room and saw Connor laying belly-down on his carpeted bedroom floor. My heart dropped and my stomach twisted into the tightest knot and I screamed. I knew right then and there what had happened. He was a heroin addict for almost 5 months and used it practically wherever and whenever he could rack up enough money to get his hands on it. This time, however, he overdosed. My first reaction was to call 911 so I did, even before checking his pulse or anything because, in the moment, I was so scared and alone and I had no idea what to do. I got 911 on the phone, they sent an ambulance and six police cars over and took care of the rest. After my initial scream, I was silent, in shock, and utterly speechless for about a week. I guess seeing your first dead body can do that to you.

Doing drugs isn’t cool. It doesn’t make you more popular and it definitely doesn’t get people to like you. You destroy everyone who loves you and in the end you destroy yourself. If you or anyone you know has a substance abuse problem or if you know someone that may experiment with drugs  out of curiosity, know that nothing good ever comes out of it in the end. And feel free to reach out to me for advice/counseling. 

“Drugs are a waste of time. They destroy your memory and your self-respect and everything that goes along with your self esteem.” 
― Kurt Cobain