New perspective

I don’t know what I’m doing in this world, 
is this how I’m meant to feel? 
Or is it something I gotta change? 
I think of my future and go blank, 
I just wanna know who I’m gonna become, 
I ain’t looking for fun, 
I wanna know the reason for why I’m here, 
What I have to give and share, 
Things I have to put on offer. 
Keeping these sort of things to myself, 
Won’t make me any tougher, 

I don’t care if you judge my lifestyle, 
You haven’t been through my hell, 
You haven’t worn my shoes and walked my miles, 
or even been a part of my story, 
I look back now and know it as history, 
Yet I’m still listening in on every conversation from a distance, 
Not sure if its anxiety or suspicion, 
Never being sure if I have escaped the prison I put my mind in,
Or did I only find a corner to hide in, 
Consciousness slips from me as I spend too much time deciding, 
Happiness comes and goes, as I still look for a new perspective.